Lost In The Forrest
by bjhovey
Summary: Forrest's misaligned identity as a female in Nohr is starting to cause him some trouble. His emotions aren't playing fair when it comes to keeping the truth under the radar. What will he do when he fears ridicule will seize him no matter which way the cookie crumbles? / I know being transgender can be a touchy subject. In this case it's not symbolism, it's plot. No bad intent here.


Forrest laid on his bed with a head full of sorrow. In fact, Nohr as a whole was in grieving due to the death of Leo, the much loved brother of King Xander. Leo was also Forrest's father. Forrest was left parent-less, as his mother, Azura, had died in the war long ago. But he had never known pain like this. His father had been the epitome of greatness, that which he could never strive for. The reason for that being his false identity as a female, which hadn't really been his choice. Forrest was very style savvy, and expressed it strongly, with women's clothes. A few bad assumptions and a "It's for the best," later, he had been presented to all but his family as a woman. This didn't really bother him, until he lost one the only ones who had known. The only remaining people who knew his true gender were King Xander and Aunt Elise. His father had always told him of another royal sibling, Camilla, who died early on in the war, but did leave behind a daughter, who Forrest now knew quite well, Nina. The loss of his father weighed heavy on Forrest's mind. But in the midst of it all, he heard a knock at the door.

"Milady Rhea?" called a voice, using Forrest's pseudonym to address him, "It's me, Flora. I hate to bother you, but there is something important I must discuss with you."

In his learned female voice, Forrest answered, "If you must."

Flora, a family retainer who used to serve Prince Corrin but now had responsibilities spread between Xander, Elise, and the late Leo, stepped into the room. She carefully strode over the disarray of things Forrest had strewn across the floor in his pain and stood by his bed. Her stark blue hair paralleled Forrest's, although it fell shorter than his. She spoke up carefully, "Milady, I understand it is a hard time for you, just try to think normally, okay? I need you to decide on some things."

Forrest looked up at Flora, "Of course, Flora. I'll try my best."

"The first matter of business is Odin, your father's retainer. As his heir, you stand to gain Odin as your own servant. Is this to your liking?" she asked, keeping her tone gentle and kind.

"No," he replied, "I'd rather not have him. Who does he fall to otherwise?"

"The girl, er, rather, Lady Nina. She would have the choice, then Lord Siegbert and Lady Velouria."

Forrest pondered this for a moment. He didn't want Cousin Siegbert or Cousin Velouria to have Odin, since he wasn't very fond of either of them, plus they already had retainers and Nina hadn't ever been offered one. Forrest was good friends with Nina, so he decided he would speak with her first before she had the decision. Surely she'd want him, but even so Forrest worried that she might turn him down and give Odin to one of the others.

"Hmm..." Forrest feigned indecision, "Perhaps you could grant me a day to decide? I think perhaps my mood is affecting my decisions."

Flora nodded rapidly, "Of course, Milady. I would tell you to take as much time as you need, but this is a somewhat pressing matter. Tomorrow will do nicely?"

"Yes, I suppose," he replied.

"Very well. Now, onto the matter of your father's belongings," she spoke delicately, "He left no indication of where any of his belongings would go to, so the decision is entirely yours."

Forrest thought hard, "I'd like to inherit Brynhildr, his horse, and... hmm... what of his chambers?"

"They are yours to claim if you'd like, although you would be in the same wing as the King and Lady Elise. I know you haven't always had the greatest relations with his majesty, so take that into consideration."

"Would my friends be allowed to visit?" he questioned, "Only other people from the castle, of course, for example Lady Nina."

Flora's brow furrowed a small bit, with apparent disdain for Nina, "I am not sure of that, but I could find out and let you decide tomorrow along with the decision about Odin if you'd like."

Forrest nodded, "Yes, I'd like that. As for his other things, please offer them to Lady Elise. Then King Xander."

"Very well," she smiled nervously, "Now there is one other thing I must discuss with you."

Forrest detected the uneasiness on her face, "Yes, Flora? What is it?"

Flora exhaled sharply, then slowly inhaled, "The King has suggested that, as somewhat of a gift to console you, I be presented to you as a retainer. Do not hesitate to refuse if you feel that way, it would be no offense to his majesty. Well, in truth, it was Lady Elise's idea. But again, do not let that cloud your judgement. I assure you, she would not mind."

A thousand thoughts ran through Forrest's mind. Flora, as his retainer? It was certainly an interesting proposal. Truthfully, Forrest had always been somewhat attracted to Flora, but could have never come up with a scenario for him to at least see her very often. And now that he had the chance, he wasn't sure he should take it. It was both exciting and frightening to imagine her attending his needs. He wasn't sure he would be able to control his emotions in that situation. He decided that he would take a day to decide this as well, and ask Nina about it when he visited her tonight.

"May I have until tomorrow to decide upon this as well? I make this decision with your best interests in mind as well."

"You may, Lady Rhea. Now then, I suppose I will see you then," Flora began to leave.

"Wait, Flora," _Lady Rhea_ stopped her, "It truly is a hard time. Might I have a, uh, hug?"

She blushed at the request, "Oh, er, I suppose so, Milady. My body is quite cold, though. You know, where I come from and all..."

Forrest nodded, and rose from his bed. The two shared a small, simple embrace. It lasted only a couple of moments, then they pulled away.

"I'll see you tomorrow, Flora. Thank you."

She smiled, "It is my pleasure to serve you, Lady Rhea."

Flora closed the door. Forrest flopped back onto his bed, his mind full of different but still confusing matters. At least it took his mind off of the pain, he thought. He planned out what he would say to Nina. It wasn't perfect, but he had the general idea: _I think you should take Odin as your retainer, you've always wanted one and I don't want Siegbert and Velouria to have him. I know it's selfish to ask that of you, but think about it! It's a little bittersweet, but nonetheless it's a wish come true... And another thing..._

Forrest quickly realized a bit of a flaw in the rest of his plan. He wanted to talk to Nina about the situation with Flora, but there was a small problem. How could he tell her that he was interested in a woman when he himself was also a woman? Was the alternative, revealing himself as the most feminine man in all of Nohr, any better? Not only that, but if King Xander ever found out about such a revelation, things might not be so good for Forrest. He remembered the day shortly after they all came home to the castle that Leo and Xander had spoken to him.

 _"I want you to be accepted, Forrest," Leo said with caring eyes. He had been against Forrest for a while, but was now supportive and helpful._

 _"And I as well," said Xander. But Forrest knew it wasn't for quite the same reason. Xander didn't want any trouble, and that was the whole of it. He knew that the new king was strongly against him._

 _"Father, I don't think I can do this," Forrest argued._

 _That was when Xander stared a scary gaze right into his eyes, "Yes, I'm sure you can. For the good of all of us, Forrest. Do this._

 _Leo started, "Brother, you've scared him. He's only-"_

 _Xander cut him off, "You will do it, won't you?"_

 _"Y-yes," Forrest muttered, "I will."_

That face from Xander still spooked Forrest to the day. Now that his father was gone, he feared to think of his fate if word got out of his true identity. He liked to think that wouldn't happen. Especially if he was to share a wing of the castle with the man. But Forrest was glad for that. He could go see Aunt Elise more often. It largely hinged on whether or not Nina would be able to visit him there. If not, it might not be worth the change of pace. Nina was by far his closest friend. He roused himself from his bed once more and went for the door to visit that friend.


End file.
